TV Log: Celebrity All-Star Game

We’re about three minutes before the NBA Celebrity All-Star game to kick off All-Star weekend, and before I start the clock on this log, you need to know that Justin Beiber is a West All-Star. This is obviously one of the big storylines coming into this game. Bill Simmons talked about it on his podcast but I didn’t listen to this one. I will later. (I am an avid listener I promise, Bill). It’s Justin Beiber. I want to know who else is playing in it though.

I think I heard something about Lil’ Romeo, but I’m not sure. But let’s talk about Romeo. This kid is good at basketball, folks. He’s legit. Oh and SportsCenter just went to the game live and it’s 6:00 p.m. in Illinois so we need to start the clock now. Start the clock now. Note: They just said Scottie Pippen. Let’s do it. Pippen, man. Pippen! I’m hoping for some great Pippen action – yes, there’s a chance he takes this game over. Geesh, start the clock.

6:01 — BREAKING NEWS: Nets-Nuggets trade. Break it down. Nuggs get Devin Harris and Derrick Favors along with some other irrelevant players. Nuggs give up Carmelo. Wow, we already have to break this down. What about a trade for Beiber? ESPN caught up with Melo earlier today: “I don’t know where (trade talks) came from. No meeting has been set for me to meet them. I don’t want to go somewhere and be a rental.” OK, so maybe this breaking news is crap and maybe it’s just a way to start off the Celebrity All-Star game with a bang.

Let me make sure I didn’t fool you at the beginning of this thing… they didn’t actually make the trade, apparently it’s already on the table though. It’s about time for that big Russian Prokorov to make a move for Melo. Sounds like Melo doesn’t want to go there though. I don’t blame him. I’d rather plan in MSG too. For those of you that don’t understand MSG, it stands for Madison Square Garden. That’s New York Knicks, readers.

So now we have a distraction/attraction for this All-Star weekend. The Melo trade will be all the talk. You know, this soap opera is starting to remind me of Lebron’s. Yet I don’t foresee Melo having his own SportsCenter special like Lebron. Who knows what’s going to happen? But hey, this is a good deal if it’s for real, although Melo apparently hasn’t heard anything about it. Melo rhymes with Jello, though.

6:07 — “FOUR TIMES THE STEAK! FOUR TIMES THE STEAK!” — Great Taco Bell commercial. We need to be talking about the celebs right now. We have to analyze the teams an all that good stuff. Melo can wait because he doesn’t even know about this trade yet. But hey, this even should be sponsored by Taco Bell or something. That’s a great, clever commercial.

6:12 — Justin Bieber is talking right now to a sideline reporter and some little girls are screaming. Figures. So we need to talk coaches: Bill Simmons and Jimmy Kimmel. Both funny guys. Simmons might definitely have some strategic plays on both offense and defense. And this might all be a joke to Kimmel. Here are the starting lineups:

East Team: Michael Rapaport (actor), Common (rapper), Arne Duncan (US Secretary of Education), Tamika Catchings (WNBA player), Mitch Richmond (NBA legend), Chris Mullin (NBA legend), Scottie Pippen (NBA super mega legend/MJ’s best bud), Jason Sudeikis (actor), Nick Cannon (actor). — Coaching staff: Jason Alexander (from Seinfeld), Bill Simmons (ESPN.com/Sports Guy), Bill Walton (real tall).

Now BW (Bill Walton) talks and says no game against Magic Johnson has been bigger.

Holy cow this East team is loaded but let’s see the West…

West Team: Trey Songz (rap star), Lil Romeo (USC baller/singer), Zac Levi (actor), Swim Cash (WNBA player), AC Green (NBA legend), Jalen Rose (NBA legend/Fab Five Michigan), Rick Fox (NBA legend), Rob Kardashian (TV personality), Justin Bieber (famous human being) — Coaching staff: Ty Burrell (actor), Jimmy Kimmel (funny man), Magic Johnson (super legend man, myth, legend).

6:23 — We gotta analyze. The East seems loaded. Rapaport is the reigning MVP of this game. Then you had Pippen, Mullin, Common and Duncan and that is a legit starting five if it is their starting five. Don’t under estimate how good Common is because he has a stroke of fire.

But what I like about the West team is the shorties: Bieber and Romeo. One: Romeo is playing basketball at USC right now, super legit. And Justin Bieber is a player that will take the roof off the house if he does something amazing. He has the home crowd at his feet right now. I like that they have Jalen Rose, not many years removed from his NBA career, and Rob Kardashian is probably pretty good at this thing called basketball.

Can we get a prediction? The legit prediction: East wins with all of that talent. The fun prediction: Bieber leads the West. But come on now! I’m picking the East because of Pippen and Common. There’s no doubt. They’ll blow the roof off this place.

6:28 — Beiber is so small and almost got an assist! Ha! Trey Songz just blocked a shot. OK, AC Green starts the scoring as the West lead. Don’t sleep on AC. He’s a good player. But then again, Pippen just drained one.

Bieber almost hit a three!

One thing I’m noticing. I like these yellow shoes the players are wearing. But I can’t get over the fact that Bieber is so small.

6: 35 — Mitch Richmond is draining jumper right now. But as we go to our first timeout, we need to talk about Justin Bieber who is showing some moves on the floor. If he turns into Steve Nash in this game then that has to favor the West but they look bad right now. Trey Songz is chucking up bricks and isn’t making them, while the East has its stars making all of the plays. Pippen and Richmond are dropping dimes right now.

6:41 — BIEBER HITS A THREE BALL!

6:53 — We pretty much have to talk about MVP most of this log. Right now if the East wins there is no doubt it’s Pippen. On the West’s side it’s probably Jalen Rose at this point. But if we were picking celebrities, I think it would be Justin Bieber and for the East I don’t really know yet. I’ll let you know.

7:00 — Common just balled up Biebs. Let’s go Common for East MVP.

7:01 — 33-21 at half and Common is literally on fire! The two guys I told you to look out for: Pippen and Common, are coming through for me.

7:10 — So what are we looking for in the second half? A few things. A few trends… here we list them: 1) Jalen Rose to start the half and start controlling Pippen on defense… 2) Carmelo to get traded… 3) Magic Johnson to pull some tricks out of his hat… 4) Common to keep dominating unless Rapaport gets real selfish late in this game… 5) Biebs all day, baby.

7:16 — The East is shooting 52 percent from the field and 5-of-12 from the field.

7:25 — Romeo has skills at this game, there’s no doubt about that but it seems like he is being a little too fancy in this game for his own good. He’s just not taking the easy layup he’s making it fancy. Yes, that’s what this game is for but I think if he were in the zone then he would he helping this team get a little bit closer than 12 at this point. He’s taking over by himself but he’s not doing much with it.

7:27 — Biebs is turning the ball over now and really this West team looks so overmatched just like I thought they would be. The East was loaded. The West wasn’t. Trey Songz, Romeo, and those celebs aren’t doing it for them quite like Common is for the East.

7:39 — West is coming back led by who else… Biebs and Romeo.

But then, who else would you think would lead them back? I’ll tell you what, those two need to get on fire NBA Jam style if they want to bring back the West, but crazier things have happened. Crazier things have indeed happened.

7:51 — Nevertheless, it’s a four point game. Wow. Romeo needs to share the ball a little bit more though come on!

7:55 — And it’s over. East wins. Pippen/Common are your co-MVPs for this game.

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1 Response to TV Log: Celebrity All-Star Game

  1. Andy says:

    Haha this is a good one. I like these live game logs. I was thinking the same thing – Bieber looks miniscule out there.

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